Richard tried to hang him self the other week with sheets, but was unsuccesfful because the facility is virtually hang proof. The last time someone successfully hung themselves was about 5 years back on a tree branch in the backyard. Since then, all branches have been clipped for about 5 meters up all trees. So when Richard was caught in his dullified med side effect attempt to kill himself, he was transfered to acute. After a few days, he returned to the facility.
Suicidal ideation is a big deal in this world of mental health, so when its expressed, the client is placed on a special needs round and monitored throughout the day. Richard confronted me with, “I feel suicidal, can I get some candy?”
me: If you get candy, you wont be suicidal anymore?
Richard:(drymouth and eyes wandering) yea, it makes me not want to kill myself.
me: let’s sit down for a second. ( i reach for the candy drawer and give him a green ball of candy)
Richard: (smiling) mmmm
Me: You want to talk about what’s making you suicidal? I all ears.
Richard: I don’t know, but I just need candy, all the time. I’m not suicidal anymore. I need to eat candy.
He then exits. Richard checks out a lot of Islamic books, never reads them, and spends his time in the hallways observing traffic.
——-
Off to other news: I was working on an assessment with new client Darek who believes he’s a wizard that controls the sky and “Shakira is waiting for my call. Can I call her? I promise it’ll be quick. First, we can get her number off the internet.” Darek has a rich smile and is the type of person that was probably always suspiciously giggling in the corner during Kindergarden class.
One of the questions I ask is during an initial assessment is, ”What are 3 fears you have in life?” One of Darek’s answers was, “Dying on a girl’s tongue.”
I inquired further and he proceeded after two minutes of contemplation: “I’ve always been afraid of dying while kissing a girl, that’s what I mean.”
Me: how would you die?
Darek: ( a look of bright terror) First I’d fall asleep while kissing her then melt into her warm tongue….um, then die (Darek re-enacts death phsyically- vortex motions with his hand in slow motion, eyes wide open.)
I insisted that this is a highly improbable scenario and that he’s safe from death via melting on tongue. After a long moment, Darek concludes with zombie features, ” This is how I think I’ll go. …I’m not joking. This is probably it….I will melt and die into a girl’s tongue….” Darek becomes teary eyed and is about to begin crying when I suddenly remember that I have a piece of cocoa via chocolate on my desk. I don’t normally solve challenges with chocolate or candy but I had to distract him.
Me: Darek, I have some great chocolate.
Darek: (as if in a theatrical rehearsal and suddenly out of character) YES! Can I have some.
The mood dramatically shifts from horror to giddy story-tellings, as we share chocolate together and Darek begins telling me about how he controls lightning bolts.
it’s a secret wish, i wish to be a client for while in a different body so nobody knows who i am, and let go. let all thoughts and memories and common sense dissappear, lay on the floor, watch people walk around me. or stare. i want to stare at one person for eternity. i want to go inside another persons’ body and breathe, feel like the other. if somebody talks with me, i think i’ll ask for candy too.