“I want that haldol dripping down my esophagus…”

Larkin is a laid back man who spends most of his time in his bed, half the time lightly banging on the wall. If he’s not in bed, he’s softly joking and giggling with others in the hallway. He rarely attends groups. When confronted about banging on the wall, he says in an adoringly whiny and crackly voice, “I’m doing okay.”

The other day, Larkin was banging real hard on the wall, and I was asked by a Caseload worker to enter his room and see what’s up. Lying flat on the bed as if he’s paralyzed in a posture like the lead character  in the Princess Bride (the bed scene where he can’t move for a bit), Larkin raised his voice and was yelling by the end of the statement, “I can’t stand him…my roommate….He hasn’t showered for days, he hasn’t eaten for days. ..I need him shipped out immediately. I can’t stand this anymore. He never eats anything. I need him out of here. He doesn’t brush his teeth. I want him shipped out of here.” When reminded to focus on his own treatement plan, Larkin continued protesting. The following is what occurred:

 Caseload worker: You can’t keep banging on the wall or yelling. Do you think a prn* would help?

Larkin: No. I want him shipped out.

Caseload worker: We can’t do that. Do you think a shot would help?

Larkin: (smiling) A big shot, yes, a shot of whiskey…. a couple of them actually.

Caseload: If you keep this up, we’ll have to put you in restraints-

Larkin: (still not having moved at all) YES! That’s what I need. I need to be handcuffed, strapped down. Handcuff me please. Put me in restraints. I need to be in restraints right now.

Caseload worker: Will that help you calm down? Do you want an injection?

Larkin: (with a smooth demeanor) I need an injection too, yes, a lethal injection. Mmmmm. Give me that haldol first. I want that haldol dripping down my esophagus. mmmmm, there’s nothing in the world like that sensation, dripping down…

I could no longer refrain from laughter so I walked out of the room after this. Larking still hadn’t moved his body, as if he owned the situation. In the end, Larkin was left alone. No injection. No restraint bed.

* prn = “as needed” in latin and commonly refers to anxiety relieving medications prescribed by psychiatrists that are always on tap for clients.   

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