Humble natured Doug looks like the consequence of one too many LSD trips, with frazzled mad scientist-style hair and an apocalyptic face of frozen terror, slightly hunched over and walking the hallways with a bible tucked around his waist at all times. Paranoia is his daily battle. He moves slowly, is oftentimes found lying down and inadvertendly blocking traffic, or can be found prostrating before the Nurses Supply Closet as if the door is the gate to Paradise. The other day I timed him in the prostrated posture for over 20 minutes. He also has a mission to tear out the Revelations portion out of every bible in the world.
In my office, there are always at least 75 bibles. I try to collect as many bible donations and have them on tap all day long since they’re popular. Doug managed to tear Revelations out of at least 25 bibles so far (probably more) before we tracked his method of trading bibles with us in order to delete Revelations. Everyday, for over 6 months now, Doug will ask for a new bible at least 6 times throughout the day. Sometimes he’ll even ask for a Koran. But the last two times he received a Koran, he would return with it a few days later nearly shredded and in several piles: “I’m sorry, so sorry, it was blackmail. It was blackmail…” Those images of Doug returning a razzled Koran and using the term”blackmail” are rare indelible memories, his puppy dog eyes of adored disappointment, and arms gracefully reaching out to give me piles of torn up Koran as if handing over a long loved creature.
